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[20 Jul 2003|08:30pm] |
Hey i haven't posted in here in a very long time. alot has happened since then. you can read it all on my new blurty journal here:
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] href"http://www.blurty.com/users/politicalpunk">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Hey i haven't posted in here in a very long time. alot has happened since then. you can read it all on my new blurty journal here: <a href"http://www.blurty.com/users/politicalpunk" target="_blank">http://www.blurty.com/users/politicalpunk</a> have fun! |
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| Posting once more |
[05 Aug 2002|09:41pm] |
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music |
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Metallica - The Unforgiven |
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im posting again, yeah. i donno i need something to do when im home. on the weekends im usually with sara and jenn. so lemme bring you up to speed
long story short...
sara broke up with me 3 weeks ago about.
this saturday when i was over there we got back together.
i am happy.
.. not much else happening. getting a job soon hopefully.
.. im taking drivers ed. its going good. in november i get to get my lisence :D
.. im not to sure what to write now. i will post later with something more interesting i guess.
... im out
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| ::happy dance:: |
[30 Jun 2002|01:07pm] |
last night was the fireworks at patriots park.. jenn got her mom to drive her and sara over so they could go watch them with me, then go back to my house for a few hours. the fireworks were reallllly nice.. we got high it was so fun. lol.. we watched them in the cemetary.
when we were at my house sara and i wanted to go somewhere alone sooooo bad.. omg.. but we couldnt =[.. in my room we kept tryin to make out and shit but everyone kept interrupting us.. geh..
when they were leaving i took sara aside and told i i was falling for her. =] when i said that she just kissed me for a while. but its all good.
im getting a job today.. or im supposed to. blah.. i got my permit friday. yay! now i can go learn to drive.. weeee
my mom wont let me see kristy. it sucks so bad. she thinks ive been smoking pot with kristy and donny. i denied it. i dont know where she got that from. but it pissed me off so much. she thinks that kristy is trying to manipulate me and get me against our mom.. screw her.. kristy isn't trying to do anything.. blah
im bored.. so ima go or something. bye.
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| bizzzzzzack! |
[26 Jun 2002|10:02pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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do to the popular demand of my sister wanting me to write here again so she can read my lifes events, i shall start writing again. so here i go...
since friday ive been over my friend jenns house in east hampton (i just got back tonight)... sara, who is my girlfriend (yes i have a gf now =] =] =] ) slept over there too.. we had LOTS of fun.. hung out, got high, watched movies, and alot of other fun stuff.
and to top that off, im just going to say.. i know longer am _ ______... so :P hehe... ok i was sad when i hadda come home today cuz i really wanted to stay there with sara =[ oh well ill see her again soon..
School is out so that is good. im going to be a junior! weeeeeee... i might be going to some Magnet school at MCC.. tomorrow is the open house. fun fun..
well thats it for now.. ima go write in my other journal (private one) and ill post more here later.. bye!
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[12 May 2002|12:57am] |
BLAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH greatest 4 weeks of my life so far.
I took the link down to my other site. if you want it, then IM me or some shit. i wont give out the link to friends i know in real life. i wanna post shit on there and i dont want everyone i know around here knowing everything. so dont bother asking if i know you in real life. go away.
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| beh |
[08 May 2002|04:54pm] |
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well i been bored. no one came over last weekend. oh well. im goin to a party saturday. lol. bye
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| fuck yes! |
[03 May 2002|05:01pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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hey everyone. been a loooong ass time. things are good on this side of the computer. ive been quite happy lately. went over to my new friend katies house wednesday. we had fun.
ummmm i got a package today from amazon.com.. I just want to say:
Thankyou Candi Archer for buying me the book "Crossing The Water" by Sylvia Plath. I just read half the book today and its a great book. thankyou very much.
i encourage others to buy me stuff as well. Link over to the right :D.. lol.. books dvds whatever.
last night i convinced my mom i wasn't stoned even tho i was and she believed me and apoligized. werrrrrrd. katie and erin are comin over sunday. i cant wait!!! well got to go, got some stuff to do like clean my room and put some stuff up on my walls. lol. byeeeee
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[27 Apr 2002|09:29pm] |
my mom told me she was going to instatutionalize me this morning.
i told her to do it then it will make everything better.
i was being sarcastic.
now shes going to call the therapist.
fuckin parents.
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[27 Apr 2002|09:25pm] |
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btw, i just found plastic in my water. bah
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[27 Apr 2002|09:22pm] |
i donno if im gonna write much here anymore. ive been writing alot in my personal journal.
fuck. anyone in ct know where i can get bass lessons at? preferably some place in storrs, manchester or hartford. or someplace just as close to coventry.
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[24 Apr 2002|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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music |
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Feveh - The Sound (Mixed by Steve Blake) |
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woah man. i been high since 7:30 fuckin stonnnned mother fucker. there was somehin i was ngonna type. fuckin i forgot. oh well. hi. lol
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| OOOH YEAH |
[24 Apr 2002|04:49am] |
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music |
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Bad Company - Grunge 2 |
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PICTURE OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
IM FUNNY LOOKING. rofl these were takin at nics with her digital camera. if you cant notice, my hair is realllllllly short and my bangs are long.
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| fuck yo |
[24 Apr 2002|04:42am] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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music |
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Pollen & Still Life - Looking Glass (Deep Mix) |
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damn i gotta update lol.. hmm last time i updated was.... tuesday. yeah. ok i dont recall much of what went on over the week i had vacation. but ill try.
wednesday emma came home from florida. We went to the mall and i got some shorts, shirt and belt. then I got my hair cut alittle later. my mom hated my hair cut. Its all really short except for my bangs, which are long. yeah well, she freaked when we got into the car and said "what are your trying to achive!" i yelled at her and said "IM NOT TRYING TO ACHIVE ANYTHING OR IMPRESS ANYONE!". what i do i do for myself, not other people, and my mom doesn't seem to get that. then emma gave her a lecture about how i do it for myself and not others and all this other stuff. then my mom finally realized "emmas right" and shut up about everything. then after dinner emma, my mom, and i watched Girl Interrupted. I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
I plan on getting every movie that includes angelina jolie, winona ryder, and drew barrymore. winona ryder is my newest favorite actress.
Thursday I went with allison and her bf tom to tom's house to chill all day. We had fun. We got stoned, watched tv, played some hackysack and did whatever. allison and tom kicked us all out of his room twice tho so allison and him could have sex. lol i didn't care tho cuz i was to stoned and plus i was fixated to the tv in his living room. After getting a ride home i stayed at allisons for a few and she gave me my birthday presents. she gave me this cool pen from hot topic and a journal to keep all my poetry in. =] =] =]
Friday rachel was SUPPOSED to come over. she did call me, at 12, but i was down stairs and didn't get up here to answer the phone in time. and by the time i called her back (at 12:15 cuz i didn't know IF IT WAS her or not) she had left to go somewhere. so i sat home all day and played gmud. its an awesome rpg. if you wanna play it let me know and ill send you the file. I'm up to level 31! yayayay this game is soooo addicting i've been playing it non stop since friday almost.
Saturday was the big 4/20. In the morning i went over to kristy's and mowed the lawn. My grandma might sell that house to them and move to maine. cuz right now they are living in my grandmas basement. that would be so cool if that happened.
After that bryan and john came over and we chilled, smoked some weed and watched 2 of the movies i rented. I got Cruel Intensions, 13 Ghosts, Easy Rider, and Edward Scissorhands. We watched 13 Ghosts and Cruel Intensions. Both good movies.
Sunday morning i woke up like usual. I took a shower and noticed a burning on my leg but didn't pay attention to it. After i got out of the shower and was drying off i looked and there were 14 cuts going across my leg prefectly. they look like they had been done with a razor. they are still there too. Then sunday afternoon i went over to Nic's house and chilled with her. we went over to kims and she has her car now, so we drove to Dimitri's to get some pizza. when we got onto their road she let me drive her car down the road :D weeee.
blah ------------------------------------
monday we went back to school. that was boring.
today i went to school that was boring.
I just got home from the dentist not to long ago. I fell asleep waiting for the dude to look at my teeth. :/ oh well.
on the way home my mom and i started fighting she thinks i need to be put back on medication because ive been so hostile and angry lately and according to her i am depressed again. now she wants to talk to me for who knows what reason. she pisses me off! i dont wanna talk! i dont like talking especially to family! i get so sick of being around my family its rediculous. and i wanna go to Radio 104 Fest and my sister told me that if there were tickets still avalible she would take me. my mom doesn't think thats a good idea cuz "my sister has been drinking alot lately and she will drink at the concert" I DONT CARE! i'm going if i can get tickets and a ride. screw my mom. my sister also wants to take me to Camp Creek (three days) this summer and to Butternut Basin for that music festival (over night). I went last year to butternut. Its one of these festivals where you go and listen to like fusion/blues type music. Download any song by Max Creek and you'll know what i'm talking about. my mom doesn't even want me to go to either of those! fuck her. i'm going.
jesus I WANT TO CUT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! =[ sarah thinks i may have made those cuts on my leg when i was sleeping. I think so too cuz they look like cuts made by a razorrrr! oh well. screw it.
Yesturday I watched Edward Scissorhands and at the end when she tells him she loves him i started crying like a motherfucker. I told sarah and she went "aww your so sensative". i donno if that is a good thing or a bad thing. i asked allison and emma and they both said that was a good thing so i'm going to listen to them lol. Sarah called me last night too i was sooooo happy that she did. i REALLY miss talking to her. i mean i still do but not as much as i did when she lived in MI.the only time i really get to talk to her is if she calls which is every night but not lately, or if i happen to be up when she gets home/online at night. Sometimes i can talk to her during the day but thats only for like 30 minutes at the most. oh well at least i still talk to her. i miss her tho. :/
I think im going to write more in my offline journal. i have to. ive neglected it soooo much =[ and i like that journal too.
oh well ima jet.
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[20 Apr 2002|03:11pm] |
HAPPY 4/20 ALL YOU POT SMOKERS! I KNOW WHERE I'll BE AT 4:20. HITTIN THE BONG
ill update you on my week later tonight.. i'm gonna go get stoned now. later
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[16 Apr 2002|11:28pm] |
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 depressed |
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im soooooooo fucking depressed. someone please tell me a really depressing CD and im going to go buy it. i want to cut, but i am holding myself back. i have to ::eyes razors::
gah i had to help someone today work on transfering plants from one pot into another. fucking sucked. im not going back.
today my mom was going to take me out to apply for a job at a store, but right before we left i paniced and got really bad anxiety and got really stressed. i couldnt handle it. ahhh i almost started crying. Im going to try this again tomorrow. hopefully im not as afraid. im also getting my hair cut tomorrow :D
thursday i am hanging out with allison and her boyfriend tom. she said she bought me two things for my birthday at hot topic. I cant wait to see them. i wont let her tell me what she bought me but she wants to tell me lol. oh well i like to be surprised.
----------- anyway
back to my depression. my grandma is dying, from cancer of the thiroid. but my sister said the can remove it. and if they do she will live. and i hope she lives. my cousin started bitching at me to spend more time with my grandma.. yeah i need to but she doesn't have to yell at me. it only makes my life harder, pushing me further.. i will see my grandma ill call her. she doesn't need to try to make me feel so fucking guilty though, and she doesn't need to yell at me. i cant stand it. i just want to fucking shoot myself or something. !&%$*@!!
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today at that work, the lady there is very religous i guess. and we were working and they asked why i didn't go to church and i said that it was becasue i didn't believe in god. and the lady went psycho on me. she was saying shit about me having no faith and all this bullshit. then we were eating lunch at her house she handing me a fucking book called "How To Destroy Atheism In 30 Seconds!". FUCKING IGNORANT PRICKS! i stole the book from her. i was reading little bits and pieces, and from what i get, this book, and christianity itself has no way to back itself up. It uses ROCKETS as a means or comparison. ROCKETS PEOPLE! fucking rockets were BUILT by humans. omg dumb. what im going to do is type the whole book out and then write what i think of it, and as i go along i will make statements throughout it, so you can read the book then what i think of it. i read one rediculous part that said that atheists are not sane, and insanity is casued by atheism, and that atheists try to FORCE THEIR IDEAS upon others! so not true.. CHRISTIANITY TRIES TO FORCE THEIR IDEAS ON OTHERS!.. and whos to say that the religions they had back in the day with man gods and opposed to one was wrong or right? maybe they were right and we are wrong. whos to say that the wiccan/pagen/celtic/druid (whatever you practice) god and goddess are not the correct beings we should be worshiping. fucking idiots. i hate this shit. the cool thing about wicca is tho you can believe in darwins theory, as i do and still believe that there is a god and goddess that overlook nature and all beings. you dont have to say, or believe that they created everything. this pisses me off =[
im out.. to depressed to write, i want to cut, but i wont.
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| SURVEY I STOLE FROM NIC! HEHE THANKS NIC =] |
[16 Apr 2002|01:06am] |
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Godhead - I Sell Society [2000 Years Of Human Error CD] |
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WHAT YOU WISH YOUR NAME WAS: I wish my name was Kat or Jane lol.. dont ask
FAVORITE SONG LYRIC: Playing life makes death so good = kittie, In Winter
WORST NIGHTMARE: when my parents took me to my grandmas and dropped me off then left. the never came back and i went out and looked for them but never really found them. every time i thought i had they went away. I woke up crying. I also hate the dreams i have where no one likes me. i wake up crying at those too.
BIGGEST FEAR: never feeling love, never finding happiness
BIGGEST DREAM: to find someone to spend my life with
BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: hung out with my sister and bought music. and i got to talk to rachel today
WHO YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON: lots of people.. but most of the people i have crushes on know that i like them so its pointless see
FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING: my plaid shorts, big pants, and black shirts, and chains and necklaces
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE IS?: i like my arms.. lol
WHAT DO YOU THINK IS YOUR BEST NON-PHYSICAL FEATURE?: sense of humor i guess, and my ability to have intellectual converstations
FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT OPPOSITE SEX: i dont look at the oppoiste sex, so i will talk about the same sex. eyes, smile, personality
FAVORITE DRINK: coke. and alcoholic drinks too.
FAVORITE GUITAR MODEL: ibanez (i play bass tho so i have an ibanez bass) that or BC Rich, Gibson, Fender, Rickenbacker
WHAT COUNTRY WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT?: Amsterdam or New Zealand.. OR! anywhere where i can see sarah easily.
IF YOU COULD ASK GOD ONE QUESTION, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: I dont believe in god. so nothing. but if there was a god and i got to ask him one question, it would be "why the fuck do you let preists moleste little boys and girls and get away with it? they are human too, yes, but thats not an excuse. if they can get away with it so can everyone else"
IF YOU WERE GRANTED ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: sadly, that i could find a gf... either that or i would wish for all the CDS i ever wanted. lol.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?: a robot what else?
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE PERSON TO GET MAIL/EMAIL FROM?: sarah.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IS YOUR WORST PERSONAL HABIT?: lots of compulsive things i do that i hate. obsessive-compulsive things.. i wanna kick them in the face.
WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?: lots of junk.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP?: sometimes its sexual fantasies.. lol.. other times its suicide.. other times its things ive done in the past then i get really depressed and cry
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: spring
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY?: summer vacation.
WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?: nothing is important.
CAN A KISS MAKE AN *OWIE* ALL BETTER?: fuck you :D.
WHAT CD IS IN YOUR PLAYER/COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?: Nirvana - Nevermind
NAME A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE SPECIAL: Garbage - Crush, Dirty Vegas - Days Go By, Marilyn Manson - In The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death, Marilyn Manson - Coma Black (remind me of sarah)
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?: working for my sister.
OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS, WHO....
HAS KNOWN YOU THE LONGEST?: either emma or john
KNOWS YOU THE BEST?: emma
MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST?: james and jacob
MAKES YOU FEEL THE BEST ABOUT YOURSELF?: sarah
HAS THE MOST IN COMMON WITH YOU?: nic, emma, brett, bryan, james, allison, john
LIVES THE FARTHEST AWAY?: Sarah
IS THE DEEPEST?: me rachel, robin, and nic
IS THE MOST TALENTED?: ummm, i think nic cuz her poems are so much better than mine... and rachel and robin
IS THE TALLEST?: sarah i think.. unless emma is taller
IS THE SHORTEST?: Kim
IS USUALLY ACTUALLY ON TIME?: what the hell. go away
IS THE ONE YOU'D MISS THE MOST IF THEY WERE GONE?: more than one person.. nic, allison, rachel
HAS THE ODDEST HABITS?: Erin
HAS THE MOST INSIDE JOKES WITH YOU: no clue
LOOKS THE MOST LIKE YOU?: i dont think anyone looks like me. at least i hope not. i hate people when they copy me.
IS THE MOST LOYAL?: rachel, nic, sarah, allison.
IS YOUR PARTNER IN CRIME?: riiiiiiight, it was nic till we stopped hanging out so much... we need to hang out more nic, we've lost so much time.. lol what happened?
HAS THE BEST MODE OF TRANSPORTATION?: nic cuz she can drive.
HAS THE MOST CLOTHES? uh i donno, i have alot of clothes but i think one of my friends has more than me.
HAS THE MOST SHOES?: who the fuck cares about shoes
WOULD MAKE IT TO THE FINAL 2 ON 'SURVIVOR'?: emma, me (I HAD to say it. im pretty good when it comes to camping and outdoors stuff)
WHO DO YOU STEAL PHRASES FROM THE MOST?: emma, allison
UNDERSTANDS YOU?: emma maybe, sarah does, so does rachel
CAN FINISH YOUR SENTENCES?: no one finishes my sentences for me.
WOULD YOU RATHER...
WEAR DIRTY SOCKS OR DIRTY UNDERWEAR?: Socks
HAVE IT 30 DEGREES, OR 90 DEGREES?: 90
HAVE A CAR OR A TRUCK?: carrrrrr
SPEND A DAY AT DISNEYLAND OR MAGIC MOUNTAIN?: Disneyland..
LIVE AT THE BEACH OR IN THE MOUNTAINS?: mountains
BE STUCK IN A SHARK CAGE OR A LION'S DEN?: ummmm fuck you
LISTEN TO THE ROLLING STONES, OR THE BEATLES?: Beatles.
BE DEAF OR BE BLIND?: neither. if i was either of them id kill myself when i was born.
EAT RAW MEAT, OR DRINK CURDLED MILK?: raw meat
HAVE THE ABILITY TO FLY OR BE INVISIBLE?: Invisible. hehe >=]
BE A ROCK STAR, OR A MOVIE STAR?: rock star
HAVE GUM OR MINTS?: Gum.
EAT CHOCOLATE, OR EAT CHOCOLATE?: white chocolate? ok
STAY UP LATE, OR GET UP EARLY?: stay up late.. but getting up early lets me do more in the day. so how bout this. stay up late AND get up early hehe
EAT CHICKEN OR EAT FISH?: fish
WEAR JEANS OR DICKIES?: Jeans, dickies are ok but not me
WATCH LENO OR LETTERMAN?: letterman
OWN A CAT OR A DOG?: Cat.
BE STRANDED WITH CARTMAN, OR CARSON DALY?:
HAVE ETERNAL YOUTH OR ETERNAL BEAUTY?: eternal youth
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED FOR?: being who i am
top 12 things that annoy you:
1* my brother
2* people starring at me
3* people who copy people
4* people who cut to "be cool" or cuz "everyone else does it"
5* ugly fat people
6* rap and pop and country
8* how i get so angry so easily
9* being with my family
10* societys ignorance
11* myself
12* when people eat all my food.
11 people you'd want to stay alive:
1* sarah
2* allison
3* rachel
4* nic
5* emma
6* mom
7* dad
8* my sister
9* brett
10* james
11* bryan
10 things you'd like to change about yourself:
1* my freckles - i hate them
2* My hair
3* figure
4* my depression
5* how i get so angry at everything to do with my family
6* my shyness
7* how i let people walk all over me
8* my height prolly i guess
9* stupid habits i do
10* myself
9 things you wear daily:
1* Shoes
2* Bracelets
3* pants/shorts
4* underwear
5* socks
6* Necklaces
7* t-shirt
8* uh
9* uh
8 movies you'd watch over and over:
1* american beauty
2* girl interrupted
3* dirty dancing
4* snow falling on cedars
5* great expectations
6* boys dont cry
7* Requiem For A Dream
8* Gia
and im going to list more to be annoying
original sin, gone in 60 seconds, PI, bettlejuice, edward scissorhands, nightmare before christmas, lesbian porn
7 concerts you've been to:
1* ozzfest 2001
2* deftones/incubus/taproot
4* kittie/ill nino/no one/chimara
5* rock expo with 9 bands
6* n/a
7* n/a
6 objects you touch every day:
1* computer
2* cat
3* music related items (radio, bass guitar, cds, discman)
4* phone
5* toothbrush
6* clothing
5 things you do every day:
1* talk on the inet
2* hang with friends
3* listen to music
4* think about things (depressing shit)
5* be a 100% lazy ass
4 foods that you couldn't live without:
1* pizza
2* pasta
3* chinese food
4* cheese omlets
3 of your favorite songs at this moment:
1* nirvana - polly
2* marilyn manson - (no one song i like the most they are all good)
3* kittie - (all their songs)
2 people that have influenced your life the most:
1* my sister
2* sarah
1 thing you could spend the rest of your life with: my music, and poetry (ok 2 things so kill me)
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| POEM! |
[15 Apr 2002|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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good |
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music |
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Tool - Third Eye |
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i wrote a new poem today. I donno if its really good. it seems goos but seems choppy. tell me what you think.
Today I Shot Myself - 04/15/2002
todays the day i shoot myself
todays the day i die
you dont care
you laugh and stare
you pick at my wounds
you mock my weaknesses
you tell me i have nothing to be sad about
you tell me i have nothing to cry over
i tell you your wrong
i tell you that you dont see what i go through
i tell you that you dont feel what i feel
and how it hurts to laugh
even worst to cry
i slit my wrists
but you dont see why
you think i am faking
you think i am a joke
soon you will see
that you are wrong
you were blinded by your own feelings deep down inside
you tell me you are like me
you tell me that you have the feelings i have
for everything in this world
i tell you that you are wrong
i tell you that you are lie
i know you dont have these feelings
i know you are just faking
you do it for attention
and dont tell me you dont because i know its not true
your words are false
your words are impure
just like mine
the only difference is, if you do not notice already
my words make it sound like i am happy
my words make it sound like i am fine
when in reality
when deep down
im not happy
and im not fine
your words make it sound like your lifes horrible
your words make it sound like your lifes unhappy
when in reality
when deep down
your fine
just because you fight with them
doesn't mean your lifes a joke
i cut away my cares
with the slashes upon my wrists
only becasue i have no other way to release my pain
release my anger
release my stress
release my saddness
you cant get mad at me when i cut
you cant yell at me and tell me to drop it
it will make me want to do it more
i cant stop becasue someone wants me to
although i try so hard
and i mean i really do
cant you see that ive been good?
cant you see ive been trying?
no need to take that knife i have in my hand away from me
i wont use it on myself
now you
you have no reason to cut
i dont show my cuts off
i dont wear my depression upon my sleeve
i keep it bottled up
locked up
deep down inside
i keep my cuts
and i keep my scars
hidden from the world
so no one can see
you wear what you call your depression
what you call your self-mutilation problem
upon your sleeve
for all the world to see
self-mutilation is not a trend
its not something to be proud of
neither is depression
dont act like your sick when your not
becasue we both know its a lie
today i shot myself
today i died
and you didnt fucking care
you just stood there and sighed
then you laughed at my misfortune and walked away
without a care in your head
of why i choose to die
and you said i didn't have a problem
you said i didn't have a reason why
now look at me
im dead with nothing more to give
nothing more to try
i was sick and you ignored
turned your back on my feelings
now im dead
and now you regret not helping me
when you should have
laugh it off
walk away from it
forget what you feel
i died and now im not real
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yeah today was pretty fun. i hung out with brett bryan and bretts gf jessie for a bit. we just chilled. Bryan and I made a cake but the pans we used were too small and the cake spilled out of it all over the oven as it cooked. we made a chocolate cake and a white cake and cooked them both at the same time and they both overspilled. we had a field day cleaning it up lol. then we put frosting on the chocolate cake then put the white cake on top of it and used the rest of the frosting to cover the whole cake. the cake came out tasting really good tho. we took pictures of it lol. so you will see those soon.
I got a birthday card from my aunt today. she gave me a 50 dollar check :D
I called rachel up today and talked to her for a while. she couldnt come over today, but we are gonna make plans to hang out friday. so she told me to call her before friday so we can make plans :D yay.
around 2:30 my sister took me out to lunch. we talked and just had fun. after that she took me to the store and i got three CDs.. 1) Tool - Aenima.. 2) Nirvana - Nevermind.. 3) GodHead - 2000 Years Of Human Error... Im listening to the Tool CD first. its a really really great CD.
my sister and her bf Donny also let me borrow i shitload of CDs from them.
Candlebox - Self Titled
Stone Temple Pilots - Core
Tool - Undertow
Stone Temple Pilots - Self Titled
Pearl Jam - Ten
Nirvana - Incesticide
Soundgarden - Self Titled
Hole - Live Trough This
Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
Nirvana - In Utero
All of which im going to listen to tonight rofl. im weird. and im going to buy all the ones i like the best too.
sooooo yeah. Im so glad i have spring break this week. i got pissed last night cuz after sarah got off she called me, and we were talkin and we had been talking for an hour (this was between 3:15 and 4:15 am) and at 4:15 my fucking phone went dead and i didn't even get to say bye to her. i was fucking pissed. so i figured it out that if i left my phone charge fully i only get a good hour of speaking time out of it till it goes dead. cheap piece of crap. well i get be mad at it. its about 2 or 3 years old. I don't even remember how i got it. i think it was for christmas. lol oh well.
Ever buy a CD because you liked that 1 song you always heard on the radio? I have. Rachel and i were talking about that today on the phone. We both bout the White Town CD "Women In Technology" because we liked that one song called Your Woman, but the rest of the CD sucks. and we both agreed upon that. isn't that funny? lol
ok well ima jet and hopefully sarah will come on so i dont fall asleep at the computer like i did last night. plus my mom just came in and yelled at me to go to bed, cuz i have to wake up at like 7:30 in the morning to go to a job for someone. and yes im getting paid. and with that money im going to go buy myself some headphones since i spent all my money on the 3 CDs today. I saw these awesome headphones at FYE today that i really really want, and they are on sale for only 10 bucks! i hope i can go buy them tomorrow. I also hope i can get my hair cut tomorrow or sometime before friday! i know just how im going to get it too. Im going to cut it all really short with like an inch or two left on top, and my bangs are going to be not cut and left long, just like i had it before, but this time im not going to leave as much bangs long, im going to have it less, if you get what im saying. then ima do funky things with my new hair cut :D lol
ok well im out for a bit. later.
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[15 Apr 2002|02:31am] |
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Marilyn Manson - Mechanical Animals CD Track 07 |
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I hate when you need to get your haircut and you make an appointment, but you can't go till 2 weeks later because your hair dresser takes a vacation.
dont you hate that too?
I also hate when your ears begin to hurt because youve had your earphones on to long.
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[15 Apr 2002|02:15am] |
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Marilyn Manson - Speed Of Pain |
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I love this song. it makes me want to kill myself.
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[15 Apr 2002|02:12am] |
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Marilyn Manson - Disassociative |
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my back itches and i want a cookie.
where the hell is sarah? =[ i cant wait much longer for her to get her ass back online. i might fall asleep at the computer like i did last night waiting for her. and she never got on. =[ oh well.
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erickah's journal